I’ve been with the same person for the past four years, so I might be off base with my belief that the act of dating in my generation is hella confusing and may even be non-existent, however, after talking with my best friend, who’s freshly back on the market, I realized that my thoughts might not be too far fetched. I genuinely feel like no one goes on dates anymore. Do these guys even know what an actual date is? In this social media dominate era, everything is a click a way. You want groceries, but don’t want to go to the store? Cool. All you have to do is download an app that allows you to grocery shop from the comfort of your own home and someone will deliver it to your doorstep. (My aunt shook her head at me for having this app by the way. What can I say? I’m a millennial.) You want food, but don’t feel like driving to go get it? That’s perfectly fine, because there’s an app for that as well. Uber Eats, along with a variety of other similar apps, allows you to chose whatever food you’re in the mood for and they will deliver it to you. Basically, as millennials , we don’t have to work as hard as Generation X and the Baby Boomers did for what we want in life. Over time, technology has advanced so much and with all of the new developments, in came social media. I won’t go in on social media too hard. If you’re following me on any platform, then you know I’m on there posting pictures and also promoting my blog pretty often. I think it’s a great tool for promotion and also keeping in contact with old friends and distant relatives, but I definitely feel that social media has made it hard for those who are dating.
For those who aren’t familiar with Netflix and Chill, it’s when a guy invites you over to watch a movie but of course, he’s expecting to do more than just watch a movie. That’s what dating in my generation has become. We’re reduced to the Netflix and Chill dating life. It’s rare that a guy actually asks a girl for a date anymore. Why? Well, because there are a million other girls that are willing to Netflix and Chill who are just a click away on Instagram or a swipe right on Tinder. Or maybe it’s a swipe left 🤔 I don’t know 🤷🏽♀️. The point is, it’s too easy for a guy to just move on to the next girl that he sees on social media, so why even bother with a date? I’m not saying that this is the case for all millennial men, but there’s no denying that it is for most. Before I started dating my fiancé, I, of course have dated other people. I can’t remember either of my previous two boyfriends ever taking me on an actual date. It was like, “Hey! I like talking to you. You’ll come hang with me a few times, I’ll hang with you a few times and boom! We’re together.” I didn’t expect any of those relationships to go anywhere so I wasn’t really expecting anything more from either of them. It just sort of turned into a relationship. After that, I can remember this one guy in particular who kept trying to talk to me right before I met my fiancé. At this point, I was done wasting my time on anyone I didn’t see myself with. Him trying to talk to me went something like this. After a few introductory text messages:
Him: Hey do you want to come over?
Me: No, but we can go out somewhere?
He doesn’t text back.
This went on two more times before I told him to delete my number. He was one of those really popular guys on campus who was in a fraternity, so I’m sure he just texted some other girl who would indeed come over. In order for you to date someone, you have to put in actual work. You have to take her out, have a face-to-face conversation and actually talk. Millennial men don’t want to do all of this today, because they don’t have to. They can like a few of your pictures, DM you, and then ask you to chill. If they really like you then it just might turn into more, but that’s never the goal. There is no asking you for the date. That’s too much work. Honestly, if a woman sees a man putting in that much effort toward her, what he would get in return would be so much greater than anything he would ever get from a Netflix and Chill. This is only one of the few things that I feel like we need to let go of in order to achieve a less confusing way of dating. In addition to this, our communication is pretty much dead. Although we have a variety of ways that we can communicate, no one actually knows how to do this in a face-to-face scenario. We have no problem texting or DM’ing someone that we’re interested, but as far as holding an actual conversation on the phone, what is that? The days of staying up all night talking to that one person is far and few in between. It’s super RARE, and I understand that most of us are adults today and our life and schedule doesn’t allow for this sort of thing that we’d often do in our adolescent years, but even the act of a simple phone call is rare. Phone calls have been replaced with text messages, which can often be impersonal and misconstrued in so many ways. Confusing! I think if we can improve our level of communication and effort that we put into actually getting to know someone, things would turn out much differently. What’s something that you wish you could change about dating as millennial?