Strength of a Woman

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“A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with” –Ellen J. Barrier

Has anyone ever heard a man describe what they feel would be their ideal woman? I’m sure at some point or another in the early stages of dating, we all have. One quality always stuck out in particular, because I always hear men say that this is what they want, but I question whether they really want this or if it just sounds good in conversation? The quality that I’m talking about, if you haven’t guessed it already based on the title of this post, is strength. All men claim to want a strong woman. On the surface, it sounds great! I mean, what person ever uses the term weak as a positive characteristic to describe someone they’re willingly inviting into their lives? If you do, then you my friend need to google the word manipulator. That’s you. You’re welcome. For the rest of us, weakness is not something you go searching for in a partner, but let’s be honest, strong women get a bad reputation overall. Let me challenge you to think of any movies or any reality television shows that you’ve seen with characters that include a strong woman. Hell, look at the women in your life! Most of these women have a hard time finding a partner. Why? What I don’t want you to think is that I’m saying that there are no men out there that can handle a strong woman. Completely false. I know for a fact that those men do exist, but I want to explore the reason behind the men that can’t.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was raised by a strong woman. I’ve watched this lady repair things in the house on her own, pop the hood of her car and get under it a few times, mow her own lawn, and many other things that would take way more than one post to list. She was working full-time, taking care of my brother and I, and she was basically the man of the house. Things that a husband might be responsible for taking care of, she did it on her own and this made her much stronger because of it. She knew how to live without a man, but that didn’t mean that she was anti-man. Anyone who was interested in my mom had to be a man that was confident in himself and knew how to handle a woman with strength. Single mothers have their own level of strength that requires a strong man to understand and not be intimidated by that. It’s not just single mothers, but career women. A woman who is a self-proclaimed boss would not accept the quality of insecurity in a man.

What is the real reason that strong women get a bad reputation? I believe that some men feel that their masculinity is being tested. The worst is when a man sees a strong woman and spits out the word feminist as if it’s a derogatory term and we should be offended. The belief that a woman should not be thought of as less than doesn’t make her a feminist. There are a few men in my family that have called me that just because I feel like I have the same rights as a man, or because I have more than small town dreams and feel like I can get there on my own if I have to, and also because I call men out when I see them doing something wrong. Like, how dare I, right? It’s not like everything around us doesn’t tell men and women both how to interact, and what a woman should do or what a man should do. Social media, television, and the internet basically tells you, “This is how you should live your life and if you’re not, you’re living incorrectly.” A few lies that we’re told: a man should make more money than his wife, a woman wearing provocative clothing must be a slut, a strong woman takes away from the strength of a man. While none of what any of these media outlets say are true, some people live by the information that they are fed. The truth is that only a weak, insecure man is intimidated by or can’t handle a strong woman. A real man would only find it rewarding to have a strong woman by his side, and if she just so happens to make more money than him, he knows that it’s really their money if they’re a team. Listen fellas, your woman’s strength is only a reflection of you. If you’d rather a weak woman, what does that tell the outside world about the type of man you are?

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Asia Vallier

Born in Lafayette, Louisiana. Raised in Houston, Texas. Poetry, music, theater, and movies have always intrigued me, and all things artistic live at the core of who I am. I've always kept a composition notebook at my side at all times whether that be for journaling, writing music or writing my ideas. At some point, I realized that what I was searching for to express myself had been there all along in my writing. I hope to inspire and invoke thought into each and every one of my readers. Blessings!

10 thoughts on “Strength of a Woman

  1. Fragile masculinity. It’s rigid and easily broken.

    “If I’m a man and she’s woman, and she can do what I can do, where does that leave me”

    Rigid gender roles leave men with no option to say that she can be both, because if she can, where does that leave him? Is he lacking in ability?

    A man may feel like a woman is ‘taking over’ his responsibilities instead of viewing her as a helpmate as they both were designed for each other.

    I feel like men are just like any other person when voicing what they think they want vs their actual actions towards what they said they want. People say what’s socially acceptable or what they believe themselves to want. Unfortunately, many haven’t ever actually taken the time to address their actions to mirror them to their words. I think that part is applicable to everyone.

    Liked by 2 people

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