As women, we face extreme expectations from society about what we “should be” doing with our lives. There’s always the pressure of where we should be in our careers at a certain age, how we should dress, behave, and the ever-so-common expectations of when we should get married and have children. I’ve always felt like the world, even other women, constantly put so much pressure on how we’re expected to fit into society, and it’s EXHAUSTING. Our good sis, Tracee Ellis Ross (HAIR GOALS), recently sat down for an interview with Marie Claire, and she didn’t hold back on her thoughts about how much the media tries to influence women that our only end goal in life is to get married and start a family.
“Our society spoon-feeds it to you. I used to put myself to sleep dreaming of my wedding. And I would still love all of that, but what am I going to do, just sit around waiting? Shut up. I’ve got so many things to do.”Tracee Ellis Ross
You in my Business?
How many times have we all heard the question, “So when are you guys getting married?” Then when you get married, it turns into, “Sooo when are you guys going to have a baby?” I’m guilty of asking these questions too, but I realize how insensitive it can be. There are women out there who don’t want to discuss the issue that maybe they’re having problems conceiving and it’s too painful to share with everyone. Orrrrr, wait for it….Maybe they don’t want kids right now or ever, and that’s their choice to make with their life. They may not even want to get married, and that’s okay!
When a man says that he’s not interested in marriage, he may get a few chuckles or daps from his boys. When a woman says that she’s not interested in marriage, the entire room stops like a deer in headlights. It’s just one of those expectations that we have for women; to yearn for marriage and a family. Yes, I’m married with a family and that’s MY choice. Just because that’s something that I decided to do, doesn’t mean that I expect every other woman to make that same choice. I believe that every individual, man or woman, has a right to decide on how to live their life. Tracee Ellis Ross may not have a husband or children at the age of 48 years old, but that doesn’t mean that her life isn’t fulfilled. Her skin? Flawless! Hair? Poppin! And she has money in the bank that allows her to travel on these luxurious vacations that I wouldn’t mind joining her on. Her life doesn’t seem half bad.
Keep in Mind:
1. Live your life
“You know, but… sometimes you ask yourself ‘Where’s the peace?’ Everybody is always talking about peace, but, as long you find peace in what you doing then you successful, and that’s what people don’t realize. See, you got do stuff till where you can go sleep at night. Cause the glory is, is in you.” Word to Master P! I think he summed that up pretty well. Do what makes YOU happy, and don’t ever live your life for the next person.
2. Singleness doesn’t equal sadness
Just because someone is single, does NOT mean that they’re not happy, and being in a relationship does NOT mean that you are. You are responsible for your own happiness or emotions. Being in a relationship will not make you happy. You have to discover that for yourself.
3. Know your worth and don’t let anyone tell you what that is
Your worth does not come from your relationship, husband or family. It comes from within. Spend some time getting to know who you are as an individual and what makes you unique. Understand what defines you as a person and focus on that.